May 30, 2011

Arabs' Got Prostitution!

Before I get into this, I want to ask you to do something: after you've clicked the "follow" link (please!), there is something else.  Share this post on Facebook, Twitter or anywhere else, with your female friends.  That's right, just the ladies.  Especially Arab ladies.  The share buttons are at the bottom of the post, next to the "comments" link (please feel free to do that too).  But really, share with the ladies you know; I will explain why.

So let me begin: like the piece about internet polls, this one was inspired by a discussion on a forum.  I just want to make clear at this stage that it is a pretty dark subject, and that many of my dear friends and brothers will be shifting uncomfortably in their seats when they read it.  Not all of course, but a lot.  This is why I want you to share it with women only - I don't want any one individual to feel a finger is pointed at him.  But I do want to get this subject discussed, and questions asked by women about the men in their lives, so that men can ask some questions of themselves rather than rush into a knee-jerk denial.

For anyone who spends time in one of the GCC countries - there are others, but the GCC is where I have spent most of my adult life - this question is going to come up.  Brothers.  Men.  Muslims. Arab dudes.  What IS IT with you and prostitutes?

In most non-Arab countries, if a man told his friends that he paid to be serviced by a trafficked sex worker, they would be horrified. "Chinese takeaways" in Dubai are not something that most people think of as recreation in other countries.  For most people I've known in various countries of the world, it would be a terrible shame to be known to have "bought" sex.  So why is it so common in the GCC?  And it is.  Maybe this sounds like a stereotype, but ask yourself honestly: if your friend, cousin or whoever is going on a trip to Morocco, Lebanon, Thailand, or just a weekend in Dubai with the "guys", what are you thinking? Yeah, and you're almost certainly right.  Maybe that's why you try not to think about it, but you should.  Ever seen a group of SUVs full of camping equipment in the long term parking at the airport?  I have!  Why?  Because the guys told their wives they were going on a five day desert trip.  They are actually now on final approach to Bangkok, and will be holding a packet of Viagra (genuine or otherwise) in one hand, and a teenaged (genuine or otherwise) prostitute in the other, before the sun sets, and long after.

In the GCC, even "decent" men seem to think it's a rite of passage, or somehow amusing, to have sexual "adventures" with prostitutes.  I mean ordinary men.  Average, normal men.  Husbands, fathers, even those  who pray on time and fast devoutly.  Men who have never touched alcohol in their lives even.  People I call friends.  Many, many of my friends - and I don't mean the small minority who like to go the bar at the weekend.  I mean the majority for whom a strong coffee is their biggest intoxicant.  That's what bothers me, and should bother you.  I'm talking about your husband, your brother, your father, your son.  The guy sitting next to you.  Because over many years I've learned that for a large proportion of khaleeji men, using prostitutes is just one of those "naughty" things you don't tell your wife about; no worse than telling dirty jokes, breaking wind in front of your friends, or smoking a sneaky sheesha.

But this isn't a minor indiscretion.  There are some obvious reasons why women need to worry about this.  One of them is HIV.  In every GCC country, foreigners are required to submit to an HIV test when renewing their labour or residence permits.  There is an ethical issues about this - in other countries, no-one can compel you to test, and if you choose to have a test, counselling is available before and after.  But more than that,  it seems to be a bit of a waste of time when nationals are not compelled to have tests, nor inclined to do so of their own choice. Not to mention the fact that some foreigners also manage to pay a 'fee' not to have the test. And short term visitors aren't tested anyway.

I used to live in Saudi Arabia, where the official AIDS statistic among nationals at the time was under 500. Yet the editor of a daily newspaper there told me in confidence that he had personally visited two AIDS clinics there in Jedda where each had over 1000 patients with full blown AIDS. If you extrapolate that across the country, and then add the fact that in a HIV epidemic, AIDS sufferers are initially a very small number compared to virus carriers (it can lay dormant for up to 15 years), the problem must be very big.  That was ten years ago.  I suspect the problem in Oman is similar.

My Saudi friend gave a reason for the problem: foreigners were tested, and also tended to be more aware of sexual matters like using condoms to prevent disease (even uneducated labourers). Yet many of his compatriots never used a condom.  His junior Saudi staff on the paper earned around OR 150/month (this is around ten years ago). They would travel every Summer with their small savings to Beirut, Dubai or Morocco. There they would stay in the cheapest hotels, drink the cheapest liquor, and go with the cheapest girls (usually sharing one between them). He thought this was a common phenomenon among single (and some married) men. Nobody ever advised them on sexual health at school or through public information campaigns, and of course they would never think of having a test. 

The big shock would come when they married: they would give the virus to their wife, which would not normally be discovered until she was pregnant, at which point there is a 60% chance that she will transmit the virus to the baby too.  I don't know how many Omani men use prostitutes as a percentage. But I do know from a doctor who ran the blood lab, that one well-known hospital in the Muscat area receives dozens of cases a week of young women with the HIV virus, mystified as to how they got it: they married as virgins and assumed their husbands had done the same.

But it's not just a matter of personal health.  As human beings, we should wonder how a typical prostitute ends up that way, and I have a story to share.  During my life I have done many terrible, sinful things.  Pretty much everything you can think of short of murder, and several things you can't.  Despite that, and for many reasons, I've never had sex with a prostitute.  However, In late 2003 (if I remember rightly), at an apartment in Dubai, I spent all night talking to one.  A girl in her early twenties from a provincial Russian city.  Her name wasn't "Natasha" (the generic name given by some to Russian prostitutes in the Gulf), but let's call her that anyway.  This came about during a truly bizarre evening (in my mind at least).  Perhaps that bizarre thing is that for others it was so ordinary.

I had been with a close friend (innocent party I hasten to add!), at an event in Dubai and we were supposed to be flying back to Muscat.  At the last minute, I had a call from another friend, "P" who had been our host, who invited me to stay on for the night, and offered to put me up at a the apartment of another friend of his, "E".  I didn't know "E", but had no other plans and agreed to stay and drive back with "P" in the morning.  But on arrival at "E"'s apartment, where I expected to find "E", "P" and another man I didn't know "C", I also found four prostitutes. Two Chinese, one Kazakh, and a Russian.  The "Natasha" was for me.

As P, E and C retired to various rooms with their entertainment, I found myself sitting with a nervous young woman in the living room.  For the next seven or eight hours, we talked.  First off, I told her nothing was going to happen.  She was worried.  I said she could tell the Kazakh (who appeared to be her boss) whatever she needed to in the morning, but this was a night off: she could sleep, drink, watch TV or do what she liked.  But I didn't do prostitution.  With that done, after a long uncomfortable silence, in broken English, and eventually through some tears, I got the story:

Natasha had grown up in Stavropol in a comfortable middle class family by local standards.  Her father had a decent job and supported his family with reasonable ease.  Natasha had graduated from veterinary college and was looking for a job.  But none were to be found.  She was well aware, from information campaigns and  TV documentaries, of the risks to women who traveled abroad to work in unfamiliar places.  But after two years of unemployment, being reasonably strong in English and aware of the dangers, she looked into it: there was an office in the city offering jobs in the UAE, which surely would have been closed down by now had there been problems with it.  And anyway, such things couldn't happen to a smart, independent, educated girl.  Out of self respect, she needed to earn her own living.  So she would try a three month contract working in a shop in Dubai.

There was a weekly direct flight to Sharjah (not the most obvious economic connection, really), and once she'd signed up at the recruitment office, she was on her way within days.  On arrival, she was met by another Russian lady - a Chechen - at the airport, who took her passport to put her visa in, and drove her to her new apartment - a modern, pleasant place that she would share with five other girls.  And then the thunderbolt hit.  "What time do we go to the shop in the morning?" she asked the Chechen lady.  The devastating reply was simple enough: "Shop?  What shop?  Don't be ridiculous girl, you're a prostitute."  Natasha wasn't a prostitute, said so, and demanded to be taken back to the airport.  Then came the game-changer: "Sure, if you didn't know then you can go home.  Just call your father and get him to go to the Western Union office.  We need your flight, registration and visa fees, your advance rent, your lost earnings and our administrative charge, plus the money to get you another ticket back.  It will be $14,000.  Do that and you can go."

Natasha knew her father didn't have that kind of money.  Maybe he could get it, from loan sharks or whoever.  And if he knew her situation, he certainly would.  But there was a choice to make: put her father in debt to gangsters, or survive the next three months.  She didn't want to make the choice.  She begged and cried and shouted in the apartment.  "Shut up, calm down.  It is what it is, but you'll get used to it."  That was the advice from the other girls.  And after three days, she went with the first man.  And that was that.  She became what the Chechen woman told her she was.  Every week she called home and told her family things were OK.  At the same time, she tried to dissuade her younger sister who was thinking of joining her, telling her it was difficult and not fun, but trying not to give anything away.

The tragedy is unimaginable.  And it gets worse.  I said that at least, after all she'd been through, the end was near.  Her three months were up in just a few days and she was due to go home.  The ticket was bought.  Whatever hideous experience she had had, it was almost over.  She could go home and start again.  I asked what she thought she might do, and I was shocked:  she said she would probably come back.  "I am a bad person now.  I have done horrible things with all these people.  I am worth nothing.  I am what she said I am".  In a few short words, the tale of a human psyche destroyed in detail.  By the time early morning came (and "P", mercifully, woke early and wanted to get going), Natasha had her dead-eyed expression reassembled for the day ahead.  The veterinary student from Stavropol was gone again.

That, at least most of the time, is how a normal woman becomes a prostitute.  The prostitute with whom our friends and brothers have their adventures.  The subject of the knowing glances, the winks, the laughter as we sit together over coffee at some later date.  And that's why I don't think it's so funny.

On a side note, yes I do single out Dubai as it seems to be such a central and openly-tolerated part of the economic model there.  It's a reason I rarely go there and feel no admiration for its economic "achievements".  Dubai is by no means alone, but it's the people-trafficking and prostitution capital of the Gulf and seems to revel in the fact.  Clean your house, really, before you brag about how big it is.

Back to the point, and apart from the health issues, and the victims of prostitution directly, I think there is another issue worth mentioning.  How does having sex with numerous different women for money, affect a man's general view of women?  There is another sad thing, I believe, about the prostitution culture among khaleeji men.  Any woman who he gets his hands on outside of marriage, can immediately be given the same status as those exploited sex workers. A "whore is a whore". Someone even asked me about an Omani businesswoman I know recently: "Oh, Z? She's a prostitute right?" He actually used that word in English. What he meant was that he'd heard she had a boyfriend.  She was in some kind of relationship with a man, and he drew no distinction between her, his co-religionist and compatriot, and a sex worker.  What's more, it was clear what he meant by the analogy - it was two things: one one level "what a low, worthless woman", and on another level "do you think I can get a turn?".  Such is the common duplicity of male culture around here.

There are plenty of men (and not just young boys) who put great effort into "romancing" girls and women from their own country, to the point that can get some pleasure. At which point they start thinking of them as "whores".  Actually, sometimes that even becomes self-fulfilling.  Having successfully compromised the girl's moral integrity, she is a different person in their eyes.  When the girl realises they no longer want to marry her (if they ever did), and dumps them, they turn on her: share any information, even pictures, personal details, and pass the word around.  They might blackmail her to keep seeing them, have sex with them if she hasn't gone that far before.  Some will even recommend her to their friends as (how disgusting is this expression) "open".

This is a pretty difficult subject to talk about, but let's talk some home truths: in the culture of many men in this region, there are two kinds of women - wives and whores. Wives are virgins who never spoke to a man, women who know men (to whatever degree) are whores, and whores are all the same, there to be played with.  And as someone pointed out in the forum discussion that inspired this, it's not just men: perhaps it will be surprising to some how much this equivalence is also perpetuated by women.  In the mean time, men are just men: girls are just expected to follow the "don't ask, don't tell" principle.  Whether they tell or not is up to them.  But I'd suggest you ask.

I love my Omani and other khaleeji friends, my brothers.  But there are certain attitudes that disgust me.  Don't be offended: as they say, your friend is the one who tells you the truth, not the one who believes you.  And the truth is that a lot of you have a really nasty habit of fucking prostitutes.  Think about it.

P.S.  I hope no individual will think I'm accusing him, but even most of those who are innocent probably know this is true.  So share this with some women as they are the only ones who won't be insulted you showed it to them.  The button's just down there.

78 comments:

Anonymous said...

Because we, the Arabs, the 'Muslims', the self-proclaimed chosen people of Allah, are nothing but a pack of hypocrites. We have the potential, and often are, the worst people in the world. Especially us Khaleejis. And to be clear, I'm talking about the men. Yes, us misogynistic Arab men, who preach about how much our religion respects women - so much so that we lock them up, beat them, abuse them, and cheat on them.

There is something wrong with our culture, and we hide behind religion and piousness when it suits us. It is sickening.

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Thanks for the reply. But I wish you'd not felt the need to be anonymous!

MamboJambo said...

Not very interesting topic. Culture bashing is so 2002.

Noone cares man, prostitution is as old as Jesus's sandals. It happens everywhere, i think a good way to assess who's mad about prostitution is to walk down Soi Sluttyputty in Patpong in Thailand.

Promise you the majority will be Brits.

If you wanna talk about HIV, i think you will find ratio is lowest in the middle east.

You socialise in circles that condone drinking, drugs and whoring thats not the right sample population to label a people.

Try again dude.

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Culture bashing? I'm happy to bash a culture of prostitution and people trafficking all day and night, I take that as a compliment.

I don't drink or do drugs, neither do most of my friends. Some of them, though like you, seem to think prostitution is OK. I don't, which is why I wrote this.

I've never been to Thailand though, so I will take your word for it - but those people you've seen alongside you are equally wrong.

And yeah, maybe I will find that the Middle East has the lowest HIV rate (compared to?). But where to find any reliable facts? One thing I know from a decade living in the Gulf though: the prevalence of ordinary people using prostitutes is a shocker. To me, but not to you. You kind of reinforced the point for me. Again, anonymously. Pity.

TLS

Rummy said...

It's funny how you labelled and generalized that men eff around with whores and prostitutes but then again you were the virtuous one amongst them all and didn't do anything. Didn't you ever think that such men who don't approve of prostitutes as well exist?!

There's always the good and bad in society no matter who they are and I've always believed that if you have a clean intention that everything would be revealed in its right time to save you from the biggest mistakes of your lives.

Omani Princess (not Omani LOL) said...

So true, sadly. And the guys who charm the girls and think they are better than their friends who pay for sex but then treat those girls they've charmed like whores? Their effect on those women's morale is the same. The girls begin to believe they don't deserve marriage anymore because they made a mistake and trusted someone not worth trusting.

Anonymous said...

Are you deleting anon comments?

Suburban said...

Interestingly, 50% of my blog traffic is, and has been, for the past three years, related to prostitution. Almost all of these (say 80%) searches originate in Oman. About half have the browser language set to Arabic, the other half to english.


"Oman Prostitutes" "brothels in Muscat" "happy ending massage oman" "Sexy Massage Oman" Etc... So clearly, there is demand.

C said...

OMG. i am definitely sharing this post! it is such a huge issue here that no one speaks about in public! thank you for posting it, and well said!

Anonymous said...

Rummy I've done many bad things like I said. I just never could consider this one. I never claimed to be virtuous.
You are totally right that there are good and bad in every society, but as one of the replies above shows, what bothers me about this issue is that so many men think it's just one of those 'normal' things: not 'good', but the kind of 'bad' it's ok to share with your friends.
OP - how this feeds into attitudes to women and their own self-esteem is so important, thanks.
Sub: why would those searches lead to your blog?! I will look!
Anon: no, it's personal choice to be anon like the two before you.
C: Thanks for the kind words.

Thanks all for contributing, it's always appreciated.

Sick of it! said...

This is a good post, I enjoyed reading your article thanks for sharing your thoughts.

While prostitution is not Arab or Khaleeji restricted phenomena, it is so rampant in this region and it has a distinctive pattern; a Khaleeji sex-maniac type of thing. And as you pointed out it's not just the fact that Khaleeji men go with prostitutes; we're talking about a deep-rooted culture which intolerably divides women on the basis of marriable/non-marriable categories. A woman you go out with is out of bounds, especially so if she is an expat (oh watch out 'hunky', she is after your money, your 'high-value' nationality, and uuuhhh your 'manhood' which is unbeatable!). This culture, unfortunately, is as much practised by men as by women. A Khaleeji woman who takes a boyfriend, dare I use plural 'boyfriends' for the sake of accuracy, expects to be 'courted' in dinero, be it hard cash or gifts (cars, property, and you name it). I have heard stories from women who were dating either married men or singles (in most cases both in combo), who would describe his worth and dating-potential by how much he owns or spends on her. And no they're not the tacky impoverished village or down-town types, I'm talking about both the sales woman from Barka who sought living in Muscat Sat-Wed night, as well as the porsche owner who lives in a lavish villa in the Khoud suburbs.

Sex is an emotionally-detached experience in here: women to women, men to women, men to men, and men to goats! It is decently done with the wife, in dutiful missionary style, careful either of you to show any wild floozy expression (verbal or physical), the beast hopes to unleash with the tart, but does he?

Unfortunately too with concentration on development being surface-limited to building construction and 'human resources', the core will remain rotten. How can you empower women in a culture which values a woman on how wide she opens her legs, plainly put: f**able or non-f**able. And for the defensive rats out there, before you start roaring you better learn how to relate emotionally, to yourselves first before you do to your partners...or goats. Disgusting!

Bader said...

i dont know why some people take offense into articles like this? ...culture bashing? thats nothing of the sort..
Im Omani, im Khaliji....weather you like it or not this kind of post is what educates people, it makes some think about what they do and there is no point in trying to solve a problem we dont admit.

on one hand this culture restricts any form of relationships, me and my girlfriend have a hard time with judgments and stares...once this guy looks at us with disgust, huffs, puffs and mouths off crap and when we went to have a drink, there he is drunk off his face and groping a prostitute....

there is a double standard happening here and many people who you think dont drink or dont speak to women are on the first flight to Thailand.
people need to be educated about alchohol....not everyone who drinks is a drunk, sex-ed needs to be taught, HIV rates the lowest in the world? i dont think so....with the ammount of unregulated prostitution, it would go unchecked..

i know its a culture thing, but when you have guys and girls who go to the same school and in the same class, yet never speak (that was the case at my school), dont be surprised that men dont know how to treat women. in cultures like Australia, that works because the system teaches you that you have to interact.
there is a stigma between arab parents that schools that are co-ed (mixed) will produce pregnant girls and immoral boys....but i know many people, yest the ones in mixed schools talk to girls and date, but what do alot of the ones in the "ideal schools" do? prostitutes?...

dont get me wrong, its not one solution, and its not one problem....many people are better off in single sex schools....but bottom line, men and women need to learn how to behave and respect each other in this culture

Alice said...

I liked the very first comment.

Even if you write 100 more times about it, it will be still very needed and useful.

Double standards for men and women exist in all societies around the world. But it's a huge issue in Muslims societies :( Women are often viewed as saints or whores. Saints being their precious wives, daughters, sisters. And whores can be any other women, MUSLIM women too if they dare to not dress/behave how MEN expect.

I know many stories about not khaleeji Muslim men (including a bearded man and one imaam) who cheat on their wives or commit adultery but would kill their own wives or daughters if they made something like that.

Women need to become stronger, fight for more rights and justice in Muslim societies.

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Apologies for commenting as "anonymous" above in reply to Rummy, Suburban, C and anon...trying to reply using my Blackberry...poor reception, etc.

There are a couple of things I'd like to add:

I don't want to demonise or generalise people "Muslims are this", "Khaleejis are that". Like Rummy said, there are many shades in every society, and as a Muslim adopted Gulf-dweller, I've no desire to insult the community I live in so broadly. And there are gold-digging chicks from every culture, although I admit there is a certain directness about some khaleeji women that stands out! But not many in my own experience.

There is a strange demographic about this prostitution thing though. "Mambo" and Bader both point to it from opposite directions: I've noticed that it's not usually the cosmopolitan, wealthy, westernised bunch who go to bars on a Thursday night, who are the ones who see prostitution as normal recreation. Sure., there are some. But I supect that most of that group, male and female, just have more liberal rules of engagement between themselves (and of course in engaging with foreigners, but on a voluntary rather than commercial basis!)

I very rarely go to bars etc., I don't drink and I don't feel entirely comfortable there any more. I spend most of my time with guys who are slightly more socially conservative: not always keen to socialise as couples for instance. Less likely to drink. More likely to be practicing Muslims in the normal, obvious respects. Maybe educated, but still prefer to speak Arabic over English most of the time. Professional, intelligent guys who are still very much of their own culture. And in my experience, it's that group, not the jeans-wearing beer-drinking English-all=the-time non-practicing kind, who have this weirdly easy attitude to hookers.

It's weird, and it's not the people you'd necessarily expect.

Omani Jewel said...

Interesting Blog :-), I love bringing up topics of contrerversy.... been in yourshoes :-) manytime and will have many more to come :-) i am sure... and i agree with you, Prostitution comparetivly high for our population in the the ME....

well done ... as for the anonymous persons replying... hey u never know... u might have burst thier bubble...
as you can all see i am haveing a lot of fun with this post ;-)

I have writen about many topic of taboo ... and actually been called names :-) i guess as a female its not acceptable anyway i shall be following :-)
xxx

Bader said...

yes i totally agree linoleum......i wonder though about the authorities, on one hand they will put the fear in couples (the case where in dubai, a kiss on the cheek got a couple deported), and on the other hand, they know and do nothing about prostitution......follow up blog!!
im glad to see someone posting something like this.

Omani Jewel: people will always dislike hearing the controversial....keep posting! you will always open up a few minds :)

The Linoleum Surfer said...

OJ, Thanks! I'm not sure I want to be controversial for its own sake, but if there's something on my mind, I tend to let it out...for better or worse! Anyway thanks for your support, I can't believe how this subject seems to have mushroomed! Maybe you're right about women - all the more reasont to keep talking about stuff until people get used to it ;)

Bader, I think the problem is where social custom and local law is well established, and a new phenomenon is allowed to flourish that is both illegal, and yet permitted by the Government at the same time.

Let's face it, there's no question that prostitution is very much tolerated in Dubai, and that can't be with the ignorance of the authorities. Maintaining a high standard of public behaviour at the same time, and using the law to enforce it, can therefore make them look a little ridiculous now and then.


Thanks again for commenting,


TLS

Sarcasm is Awesome said...

I'm Omani and happy you blogged about this, it's really an eye opener to what's really going on (especially to wives)! These mens wives don't deserve what's being done to them, it's not right... in a religion where every1 should be equal, I don't see why it's okayy for men to do this but when their daughters have a boyfriend they're on the verge of being murdered! I know that parents want to protect their child and not have pre-marital sex, but if they educate them and trust them to do the right thing, they should be fine.
So basically, these men need to learn respect their wives, otherwise why get married in the first place ??

The Great Bear said...

This kind of problem is not a behaviour exhibited typically by Arabs, but by Men in every corner of the globe. We men are too obsessed with sex. Maybe that the Arabs just have an "ultra" libido.

However, I agree with LS (Linoleum Surfer) that the GCC doesn't have any HIV/AIDS testing system/law in place for its nationals. They are also lacking in providing adequate sex education and collating info on the total head-count affected by HIV/AIDS.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with MamboJambo... This is really old news and can be applied to any country in the world. I'm not condoning prostitution, I'm just saying its much much worse in other countries and it's just as bad (if not worse) in "western" states.

On the other hand, the subject of human trafficking , although linked to prostitution, falls under another category and definitely needs to be addressed in GCC states. I know that Oman hus been bumped to a Tier 3 by the US department of state claiming Oman makes no efforts to comply with the Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA).

MoOn said...

I have recently read about child trafficking from Nepal to India, and this read was quite an eye opener and shocking.

I won't sit at the back seat and defend our omani or khaleeji men, where I should as nothing should stop me,, neither I should generalise it to all...

it happens here, but i can see that people attitude to it is changing, or it might be my opinion as i come from a quite conservative family.

thanks for the topic discussed..

Guy-type 3 said...

Interesting topic… please excuse me .. my English is not that good.

I agree with you .. we have that kind of classification .. good women (wives, daughters, mothers) and whores (“open”, “bad” Women)

Here is how I think “bad” girls end up this way in Oman.

In many cases – I believe – the “bad” girl story starts with a love story (more accurately a fake love story) with a charming “guy-type 1*” promising to marry her. At some point she had to give some sacrifices to prove her true love (“we’ll get married at the end anyway! .. yah right”).

*(guy-type 1: can be married, single, a university student, a school teacher, etc …. There only intent to sleep with the girl no matter what. He would lie, he would promise and swears on his fathers grave if he had to. I like to call them the devils)

After sometime he dumps her (or she discovers that he is a liar) and she walks with a big scar in her heart. The “guy-type 1” would normally distribute her phone number – maybe photos – to his co-devils who in turn will try to get a piece of the cake. Unfortunately, she would normally fall for one of the co-devils when he present him self as new future husband and merry goes around.

After falling for few devils, the poor “bad” girl becomes more disparate to get out of this endless game and starts falling for every lair (“ I know he just want to sleep with me .. but maybe he is different .. Maybe he is going to love and won’t be able to live without me .. we’ll get married and live haply ever after”).

As the story goes on two things happen:
• The girl – like Natasha – starts to believe she is a bad person and stop giving a shit a bout anything anymore. She can jump from one relation to another. Sometimes she try to get the most of her boyfriend(s). “I am giving him myself. I earned what I am taking”.
• The word about the girl starts to spread and more people know about the “whore” living in the neighborhood. More “guy-type 2” try to “communicate” with her. Unfortunately, at this stage some men believe that she is a burn “whore” and she just wants to have sex. They think she just want fun and don’t mined being someone doll as long as he take care of her without even thinking of getting married)

(guy- type 2: more common I believe. Wont lie to the girl and most probably wont promise to marry her. “I just want to have fun” kind of person. Certainly he would talk about her to his friends in a nice way when he is still dating her. “Yah .. I shagged that bitch” when he is not anymore)

Guy-type 2 normally does not feel guilty .. In his mind “I didn’t lie to her .. she knew we were just having fun .. and she agreed .. that makes her a “bad” person” !!!!???

♥ααℓiα♥ said...

Hi TLS,

I came to your Blog from my friend OPNO's Blog and was reading your other not-so controversial Posts. Your sense of style is what I like to read; quick to the point and funny (even when the content isn't).

Prostitution is a serious crime against law and nature, what kind of a MAN has to pay a woman for sex especially when he KNOWS she comes from a sad disposition (such as the girl from Stavropol)?! And then, to make matters worse, these disgusting men bring home diseases to their wives and expose their unborn children to it... Ugh it's just a nasty cycle and when will it end??

Keep on Blogging :-)

Aalia, a new Follower

Anonymous said...

You say in most countriespeople wouldt brag/talk about buying sex. You are mistaken, what you should say is in most western countries.

In Thailand sex is bought even more than the GCC, in Japan, especially the large cities, CFOs of companies have prostitutes sent to their foreign business prospective partners rooms, and its available everywhere.

in China... Go to china and see.

Buying sex is actually VERY common place in Asia. And given that the GCC is in Asia, it isnt surprising.

Ive lived in all those countries Ive listed, and so what I see in Dubai isnt shocking at all.

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Aalia - thanks, I'm blushing!

Anon (why?!) - that's a really interesting point. I haven't travelled much in the far east, but from what I've heard and read, I guess you're right. Japan has its own particular culture of these things it seems. With that as the exception, the other uniting factor seems to be the presence of widespread poverty.
Prostitution is in every country of the world, but I think maybe the particular issue with the GCC is two-fold: Firstly that the "trade" in people is tolerated by governments in places like Dubai as a business, not an unfortunate side effect of desperate internal poverty - the poor are imported to service the "market". And secondly, that unlike say, China, the role of Islam in most people's lives here is central. And we talk about it, a lot! Religious morality is enshrined in every GCC country's culture and even its law. And yet this hideous business is both officially condoned, and socially accepted by so many.
So yeah, maybe prostitution is just as bad in some other Asian countries, but perhaps here the hypocrisy is worse? Also I'd ask whether the refelected attitude to women is as bad somewhere like Japan?

Thanks a lot for the comment anyway, interesting angle to add.

TLS

The Linoleum Surfer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan and Jillian said...

Linoleum--

Great post. First-rate stuff.

You mention Dubai's brazenly proud attitude regarding its role in this kind of trade. I think this strikes at the heart of the problem: the wafer-thinness of civil society in the GCC. Weak government institutions. A dearth of NGOs. A strong civil society is one of the pillars of the developed world.

Far from addressing societal problems, GCC states seem more content to sweep them under the rug and change the subject. See also: stratospheric rates of diabetes and the genetic Russian roulette of arranged marriages between cousins.

What's really sad is that a nation like the UAE has the resources (unlike, say, sub-Saharan Africa in the face of high HIV rates) to deal with this situation in a responsible way.

But, then again, the shot-callers in all these states are men. And as my wife is fond of saying, "This is what happens to a culture when one gender has all the power."

The Linoleum Surfer said...

D&J, thanks! I don't want to paint an unduly negative picture of GCC societies as a whole, but I guess saying how great everything is I can leave to the mainstream local media...

I like your point about civil society and I think it's right. But it's worth mentioning what's already there. I've noticed more and more people starting or getting involved with charitable causes and I think the role of these organisations is growing - even if their influence is still weak. The important thing about something like, say, the Environmental Society of Oman (big up to Mr and Mrs Muscati of this very blogosphere for being founder members of that one), is that they are wholly home-grown. Societies only develop from within, and there are some very smart, dynamic people out there who are doing their part.

This post was on a subject that few people talk about, hence the temptation to get it out there myself (and I am amazed at how much it's spread in a couple of days), and maybe a new NGO dealing with trafficked sex workers would be helpful. But I think the overall picture has its positives: There are people in the GCC who do give a damn about all kinds of things, and are starting to stand up and promote causes they believe in outside the traditional norms. Some day this will be the cause celebre.

TLS

Rays of Faith said...

Interesting subject, I didn't know any of this stuff. Now I will be very cautious of communicating with ANY of the international students from the GCC, lest I be considered a whore.

I watched a documentary about the plight of Iraqi refugees. After women in Iraq have escaped the horror of their country being ripped apart by the American Military machine they can look forward to being trafficked as prostitutes by their fellow Muslims from the GCC. This documentary and your blog makes me feel very angry and also very sad. These men deserve to be punished...a horrible painfully humiliating public flogging.

Alice said...

I disagree with those who say it's culture bashing and passé or that it exists all over the world.

One sentence sums it up for me:

What IS IT with you and prostitutes?

We are not talking about any other country. We are talking about Khaleeji- the cradle of Islam. The region that many Muslims around the world look up to as the purest, the best society adhering to Islam. We are not talking about any society but about Muslims! Fornication is Very Huge sin, it's Haram too much both in religion and culture of this region. It's Shameful too much to even talk about such things. Prostitutes, cheating on wives, harassing their own Muslim women should be the last thing possible in Muslim societies. It should be nonexistent, and that's how some pretend it is,or want it to be. The thing is unlike other countries around the world GCC, media, governments, people present themselves as highly moral and intolerant of indecent sexual behavior (remember Brits arrested for sex on the beach). It's but a facade, and behind it is a very ugly reality that is so far from Islamic principles.

I often see angry Muslims shout on forums, youtube, blogs that only Muslims still practice their religion, that there are no real Jews or Christians left. And yet Muslim men morals sank so low that fornicating became widespread and acceptable among them. And not somewhere in a free western country but here in the heart of the conservative Muslim world.

Where's the honor and dignity of proud GCC men?



What upsets me too much is that around the world there are Muslim men that prefer molesting their own Muslim women rather than "loose" western women, so that to provoke the woman into indecent behavior and later men are proud of their achievements and boast in front other men.

Oh, Muslim men what's wrong with you???

Anonymous said...

to anonymous who talked about the far east.

you will get your butt nailed in China if you brag about having sex with prostitutes- If you are married, your wife will murder you (chinese women aren't submissive), every month in China, if you can actually read chinese, there are cases of women murdering their husbands for cheating on them, poisoning them, etc.

and if what you did with whores gets out in public you get fired- sometimes people are set up for it

the reason asians send prostitutes to business partners is because they DELIBERATELY want to set you up into a trap, then embarass you if they have photos of the encounter.

this is what happened to several officials, sometimes when companies in China who were dumping crap into the water or something were investigated, they offer the investigator prostitutes and set him up.

"Hunan Cadre nailed for sex with Russian prostitute, Chinese netizens suspect it was a set-up"

http://venture160.wordpress.com/2007/04/12/hunan-cadre-nailed-for-sex-with-russian-prostitute/

"Chinese anti-corruption official sacked for Russian tryst"

http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/asiapacific/news/article_1290358.php/Chinese_anti-corruption_official_sacked_for_Russian_tryst

"a Communist Party official who was a top provincial campaigner against corruption has been sacked after he was caught in a hotel room with a Russian prostitute, the party's official newspaper said on Thursday"

TripleTee said...

To all the anonymous Arab men making up excuses above saying things like this is old news:

First of all when you compare other countries to the Gulf, in their culture it is done in secrecy and is not CONDONED or seen as normal. In the Gulf as TLS said, it is sadly true, men brag to each other about. Perhaps the more prosts he fucked the better man he is.
Of course prostitution happens everywhere, but at different levels and under DIFFERENT views and ideologies. It's accepted in this culture, but not in another. The extent of such hypocrisy with those who claim 'we Muslims are better than those from other races or religions' (when something as prostitution is not even seen as a big deal) is unfathomable.

I believe Muslim are culturally and perhaps even religiously the worst sexists in existence. They have had a number of concubines and Harems in the past, not to mention allowing men to be married to a number of women.
and yes, all those poor women who're seen as whores for being in relatioships... why were they never compared to the bastards who went for prostitution?

and another thing:
yes there are men who're not like that, but sadly the majority are, and that's the tragedy. I'll certainly share this

MamboJambo said...

I agree the reporting of HIV in the GCC is very poor but i assure you if HIV was a big issue it would be surface like rats on cheese. As it is noticeable in South Africa, Thailand, Tanzania predominantely funny enough countries that have no religion or former western colonies....

Do a little research before writing. HIV spreads so fast because of concurrency. This means men and women having long term relationships with multiplie partners. YES LONG TERM is the main cause of HIV spread. Like men in africa having long term relationships in different villages over 10 years, like expats going to thailand and hooking up with the same nightwalker over several years if not forever.

In dubai its a one nighter, plus all expats are screened for HIV before entry into the country and regular checkups thereafter. HIV is bad for business people.

Linoleum i did not condone prositituion or say it was distasteful. For someone claiming to be open minded, your retort certainly doesnt display any such notion.

Again, prostitution = old news. IT may be new for Gulf but Dubai has made it into a fairly clean business transaction.

This is just a topic to label an entire culture users of prostitutes and bastards. What has muslims goto do with prostitutions. Does that mean one can state all christians are hypocrites because they wage war to enable capitalism. The linking going on here is clearly that of underlying hatred and not facts and figures or any sort of real cultural analysis.

If you know men who brag about how many women they've had, 'unwittingly' attend sexy parties, goto bars and not to drink and only to 'socialise'. Then later post about how your 2 arab muslim friends bragged about how mayn times they shtooped Natalia the Russian, isn't that the definition of hypocracy/.

TripleTee to you the majority of Arab men and Muslimes are the worst sexists in existence. Wow i can almost feel the hatred coming out the keyboards. If you've been a victim of 'i love you so open your legs, only later to be dumped' or 'me 20 years older and got myself a young arab boy to service me who later only wanted me for my money' thats OK. What doesnt kill you only makes your stronger!

Peace. Love. Unity (even for the professionals)

P.S. Linoleum why are you complaining about anonymity, when you yourself are nameless? State your name and address and i shall do the same.

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Mambo, I meant I post everywhere as TLS, and it looked like you'd made up an ID just for the purpose of replying to this post..that's all.

As for your arguments that HIV is a danger because of long term relationships, that's just daft. Sure, spending a long time in a relationship with someone carrying HIV is more risky than a brief encounter. But they're both risky. And the more brief encounters you have, the riskier it is. Either way, one partner gets it from somewhere. And the doctors in the GCC say it's from guys using prostitutes on their travels and giving the virus to their virgin brides. That's just what I hear from the doctors, it's not a judgement. But it is consistent with the facts that I've seen.

I don't know why this has touched such a nerve with you - I am not attacking an "entire culture" (after all, I chose to live in it, and have embraced it in most senses). I didn't call anyone "bastards". The word was "brothers" if you read again.

Prostitution is not a "clean transaction". It's part of an organised criminal operation that trafficks women and most of the time begins with blackmail or some other type of compulsion, as in the story described. You've not addressed that at all, nor the main points about why this is a particular issue in the GCC: The social accepability, the contrast with general perceptions of morality (and its enshrinement in law), the government complicity, or the effect that regular use of prostitutes has on attitudes to women.

And no, prostitutes are rarely HIV tested: As in the story above, the more common arrangement it seems is to come in and out repeatedly as "visitors". The trick then is to keep adding extensions (this is what the local sponsor is for), and max the "visit" up to three months. This avoids ever having to have a test. It is therefore a nonsense to test "residents" every two years: If neither locals nor such repeat three-month visitors, are every tested, it's surely a waste of time.

Maybe it's just hard to hear this from someone who isn't a home-grown khaleeji. But if you really think it is untrue that ordinary, professional, otherwise decent men sit around laughing and joking about their adventures, then I'm amazed. I'm sure you come from a very decent family and I'm delighted to know that you don't condone prostitution (though why you then choose to defend it as "a clean transaction" is beyond me - maybe that's the hypocrisy?). But I can only assume that I spend more time in ordinary khaleeji company than you do. I've spent most of the last fifteen years in Gulf countries, I socialise almost entirely with khaleejis, and most of them not the westernised, secular bar-hopping types. And my experience is that a high proprtion, a majority even, have a very relaxed attitude to using prostitutes (to put it politely).

Khaleejis make up the vast majority of my friends, and the society in which I live entirely by my own volition. So this isn't an "attack" on a culture. This is an expression of bemusement and disgust that such a strongly ethical culture can trivialise such a vile business. And like it or not, too many men in the GCC to.


TLS

TripleTee said...

mambo jumbo.. or wtever that was.

arguments irrelevant and not true. I do not have a personal hatred but a hatred and disgust for what is being done.
bringing in false assumptions of my personal experience does not help you justify anything.

HIV is transmitted through sex with a partner that already has it.. and it does not take a long term relationship for it to pass.. in fact you are sure to get it from the first time.

I feel you need to do your research and be sure before you think such matters are trifles.

♡ αmαℓ said...

Salaam,

There is definitely a problem...Just come to JBR on a Thursday or Friday night here in Dubai. It's so easy to spot men picking up hookers. I try to avoid the areas of this city that are known "pick-up spots"...
I read in an article (I forgot which, it's been a long time) that prostitutes outnumber women 20 to 1 here. And now that I've been here a while, I don't really doubt it.

As for being hypocritical when it comes to women, I definitely see that as well. I know many men who use hookers on a regular basis, and 2 of them have wives back in Lebanon, yet if you were to ask them if they'd marry a girl who's had sex before they'd have probably have a heart attack just thinking about it.

Idk... it's not just a Khaleeji problem, or even an Arab problem. It's a male problem. As they say, "Boys will be boys", which seems to be a universal way of thinking. It's really sad to see, especially if the man has a wife or tries to be all pious on the regular :-/ But unfortunately I don't think there's a way to stop it, unless you throw every last hooker off the Earth but it's impossible.

The Great Bear said...

@ amal: I find two contradicting statements in your comment above. 1) "It's a male problem." and 2) "But unfortunately I don't think there's a way to stop it, unless you throw every last hooker off the Earth but it's impossible."

I agree with you that its a 'male' problem. But if so, then why should we emphasise on getting rid of the 'female' hooker?? I think we as men need to change our own perspective/attitude toward women. Maybe a small fraction of women are into this business because of the money, but then if men can do away with their "philandering" ways prostitution will cease to exist on this planet.

RG said...

@triple tee and others: Please educate yourselves on HIV before attempting to educate others.

If a man has unprotected sex with a HIV infected woman, the risk of him contracting the virus is 1%. If he is circumcised, which is the case with Muslim men, then that risk is even lower. @triple tee : you are NOT ''sure to get it from the first time'' in much the same way a woman is not SURE to get pregnant the first time.

@ TLS: Your claims that a ''well-known hospital in the Muscat area receives dozens of cases a week of young women with the HIV virus'' is preposterous and little more than scare-mongering. If this were the case, then Oman would have the highest cases of HIV in the WORLD.

Anonymous said...

Ladies and Gents .

I have been in the Middle East for 4 years and I have been out with and entertained by Russian and Chineese ladies some of these come here by there own choice for money and some are forced as per your blog . I have even helped 3 ladies escape the trap of the UAE so i've done good and bad . But even my own wife had to leave Dubai beacuse of the Arab's she is a Blonde Russian . What chance dose a women have pushing a 4 year old in Mushrif park or Costa Coffee being aksed for sex.


Theres a time and a place for everything ,but have some respect for everyone they are still someones daughter wife and all are women in bad situations through choice or there situation .

Wayne Oman

The Linoleum Surfer said...

RG: Quite right, the risk of transmission each time for men is low. But even at 1%, if you take regular "holidays" with several encounters each time, sooner or later you're going to roll the right number. And for women of course the infection rate is much higher, hence the high instance of HIV among sex workers.

As for the "preposterous" figure, that's a quote from someone who used to head the blood lab. Maybe it's an exaggeration. Maybe he meant he sees cases every week, and he's seen dozens of cases. Either way, I'm not sure how that would make it better. But even if he's right, there was at that time only one blood lab co-ordinating all these tests, so you could pretty much take that figure as national. And if there are thousands, maybe tens of thousands, of men having risky sex (let's not even start on the unprotected homosexual activity too), then would a few hundred new cases every year really be such a shock? I don't think so.

Anyway, whatever the numbers, even one case would be too much. And that alone is not the issue: why do good men consider such a big crime as a trivial indiscretion? I guess they don't see it as a crime. I do, hence the post. If the figures are wrong they're not mine and I'm not trying to sow hysteria here. I'm just talking about a social problem, and it needs talking about.

Thanks for dropping by though - I'm not too proud to be corrected. Maybe it would help if real statistics were actually published.

All comments are appreciated. Apart from that anonymous dude who said prostitutes were needed because wives didn't know what to do and wouldn't do "anal" - he can go jump, and I deleted that one...



TLS

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Bear - I agree. I don't think it's a "male problem", I think it's a "males who have sex with prostitutes problem". The two groups are not the same! It's also a serious organised crime problem.

Wayne - There are clearly a lot of foreigners who avail themselves of this "trade" too, and it seems to be part of the tourism strategy in Dubai etc.! But anyway, in your own words you've done good and bad - haven't we all? Thanks for your candour.

Anonymous said...

I agree with this being a major problem around the Arab world, especially the GCC... The woman around here are treated like scum and the thing which pisses me off is that when ever i stand up against it i always see people AGAINST woman rights... now thats just a piss off... I feel that i am lucky being educated in a mixed international school it gives me the opportunity to feel safe respecting and being around my opposite sex... never in a million years would i ever use a woman as a "tool" and people who do make me wanna just throw up... i wonder how they would feel if that was their mother or sister... I kinda blame it on our mentality the whole no boy girl communication is what makes the horny males around here so eager to just get close to a female... although many are against mixed schools I would promote them as they teach us, from young age how to react around the opposite sex... really its a simple formula teach your kids since they are young to feel comfy around the opposite sex and just RESPECT thats the most important thing. So many "Men" and the reason i put men in quotation marks is because in my eyes they are NOT men... anyway so many "men" brag about this and how they slept with many "Whores" and how cool they are, which of course makes their friends jealous and the circle goes on and on till it reaches the younger generation ...
I'm still a 15 year old kid but i probably have more respect towards a woman than a fully grown 45 year old typical horny Arab male, sadly... I would love NOTHING but to see our culture be civilized and not as thick minded, horny inconsiderate animals...
Damn, the world is messed up and fixing it would take forever the least we can do is try to educate others and promoting a NO PROSTITUTION environment, teach the cool kids to teach other kids that its bad and wrong and you're just a pathetic loser who doesn't have a nut sack to go talk to a woman to a normal man and interact normally ...
Dear men who think they can buy women, Screw you, you Pathetic little horny A holes, i hope you're proud of your achievements in life... Nothing really LOL

B said...

I would love to have an Arabic translation of this post. It would probably work wonders. Any volunteers?

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Anon, stop sitting on the fence dude and say what you really mean..haha!

B, you have no idea how slowly I write Arabic; it's pretty painful. But I'll see what I can do!

Suslique said...

as salamu aleykum.
good read, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

i think that problems like these appear when people abandon their religion. praying, not eating pork, not drinking-- is only a tiny part of Islam. are they doing it because they actually understand it or they are doing it just because it's a tradition? practicing on "cruise control" doesnt bring any benefit for a person. arabs don't study their own religion. you gotta work on your iman while you still can, read, study, learn, sky is the limit! sex outside the marriage is a big haram. doesnt matter if you are man or a woman. respect for you spouse/parents/relatives/neighbors/people in general is a must in Islam. and many more. sorry if my thoughts are random and out of place, but i hope people will get what i'm trying to say

candy olive said...

THis problem is only going to get worse. And who suffers but the innocent wives and children of these 'men' who do these stupid things.

Why?! Why?! Why?

Why are Muslim men so stupid? When they really know so much better than to do such things.

And it's going to get worse because Muslims will continue to sweep it under the carpet.

Instead of talking about it as a real social problem.

Suburban said...

See below this fascinating Gem from our friends in Kuwait!

Men should have sex slaves, says female Kuwaiti politician

http://www.thenational.ae/news/worldwide/middle-east/men-should-have-sex-slaves-says-female-kuwaiti-politician?amp

Words fail me.

Modh Baluchi said...

the good n bad iz exist everywhere!!
itz not new info,,REALLY.
everyone knows about this shit unless there r some people live under a rock or something!!!

The Linoleum Surfer said...

It's these human insights that make it all worthwhile...

Queen said...

this topic has always bothered me, as I am from Eastern Europe, living in the GCC, and no I am not a "Natasha".. but am looked at as one! why? when it comes to being introduced to someone new, or having a job interview.. you get one of those looks "uh huh, we know what u're worth".. its sad.. I moved to Dubai when I was in grade 8, and even in my high school guys would give me the funny looks (im not blonde), and pass nasty comments.. 8th grade for god's sake? that makes the guys what.. 15 at most? and they already know the deal! ok..lets put aside the fact of how miserable I tend to feel while i have to introduce myself and tell the country I am from..

Prostitution is everywhere. But not everywhere people claim to be religious and clean.

High sexual drive is something normal, but its rather normal to tell your wife or teach her what would you like to do, then going around to find another woman who would do what you want. If the wife doesnt agree, suck it up and just dont do it! whats the worst thing that's going to happen if you dont try out "from the back door"? Is the world going to end? I doubt it..

Ladies hardly have value (i mean moral value) in the man's eye. More and more arab men tend to "play around" till they dont have any money, or health left, and then just marry anyone, found by the family.. and then still continue messing around..

some however end up marrying a hooker, after being told a heart tearing story about how she was tricked into the job.. and then ends up telling everyone in his family that she was "working in a shop".. he KNOWS not matter what and how she started, she DID sleep with 100s of men before him.. how low should the ego of the man be to accept something like that??

again, how low should the self esteem be, to go ahead and pay for sex? isnt that like the easy and cheap way out of the situation?

how dare married men, who have children, spend money on hookers, while those amounts could be rather spent on the child's school supplies etc?

why do some young boys find it embarrassing to be a virgin at 16 while the culture promotes marrying while being a virgin? why do these young boys have to lose their virginity to a hooker, just because their friends think its EXTRA UNCOOL to be a virgin at that age?

I can go on and on and on about this topic.. and i dont know where is or should be the beginning of the solution of the problem... but what i know is that the culture is being lost, traditions are being lost, and religion is being made fun of (double faced people).. nothing good will turn out of these..

kind regards

new follower :)))

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Thanks...do you feel better now? ;)

Anonymous said...

towards the end of times prostitution will be widespread...this is because people will be corrupt morally and very much distanced from fear of God. There will be no more sincerity left in the heart,

Anonymous said...

Isnt it funny how Mambo and RG's responses show the crux of the problem

1) Prostitution is apaprently "ok"
2) Chances of getting HIV is lower than 1%
3) Woohoo, we are circumcised so chances are even lesser


You have ignorance and then you have arrogance. In very few places do you see both these fuse into a horrible mixture as you see i with the "I am important, i can do what i want" attitutde that you see

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Amen Brutha.

AmasE°♥ said...

True, true and true....

Wanita Bertudung Hitam said...

whoa serious topic, ive learned a lot from this, cuz im from Asia,dont know much abt ur culture or watever happen there...i think it just the same here :( neway it's a really good writting..lost my focus on work reading this..

Fatumera said...

Great post Mr. Linoleumsurfer ;)

I totally agree with you on this, and just because it's "old news" as some have stated, it doesn't make it any more acceptable. Paying for sex is all too common, and condoned around here, and some men even bring prostitutes into their homes at night. The wife is relegated to sleeping in the kid's room. I am not making this up. The stories I could tell......

Laylah said...

Great post and good for you to bring this up!especially good coming from you as a man and someone who really knows the culture in GCC countries,otherwise people would just not believe you in the first place.
Anyways prostitution goes on even in the most conservative of the GCC countries,Saudi Arabia that is..it's actually fairly easy to find hookers and Saudi parties always have a few hookers attending..disgusting really.
And what about all those Saudi men that go to Bahrain for the weekend?!just for some relaxing on the beach?what do their wives think are they in some sort of denial or could they be so utterly clueless?Bahrain is nothing but one big brothel of an island!
I hate going there because im blonde and have eastern European look so I get nasty comments and Saudi guys asking for my price all the time.even if I'm holding hands with my Saudi husband!they immediately assume I'm one of those girls.

Anonymous said...

hey. I dont know how possible this is, but it would be great to translate this to arabic, so that its is accessible to more Omani (and Arab)women , this is an important message and must be heard by all women. It would be a shame for an article as revealing as this to not be understood by a great number of Omani women.

Anonymous said...

Please! Delete my post from June 2 where I asked you to email me, you answered "dude, what's with the secrecy..." I made a mistake so please delete it, it comes up in google upon searching my email!

Thanks a lot and I apologize again. I am against facebook, etc.

The Linoleum Surfer said...

Hey there,

OK, it's deleted. Sorry, I don't edit people's comments before they're posted, they just display immediately so "not for posting" was too late!

Seriously if you're considering marrying a guy with that mentality I would think twice about it though. Googled your email address and complained you'd asked a question? Man, you're not running naked through the streets...you didn't even give a name!

Also, I gave you my email address in response, and even emailed you to ask what your question was! You never said. So, as you're anonymous anyway, why don't you tell me what your objection was, and ask your question about the books (public or private, I don't mind, and if the reply has to be private I have your email...)

Thanks for taking an interest anyway, and thanks to all for the comments.

TLS

B

Anonymous said...

its more disgusting in the malls, when you are shopping with your family. these guys just follow the ladies in abaya and utter their mobile numbers right in front of you!.what expression they use - Laham! laham! laham! helo waaed!

Anonymous said...

PLEASE delete my comment from June 2! It is the one that asks you to email me directly and I put my email! PLEASE! I don't care anymore about whatever my question was but my email is linked to this stupid topic.

The Linoleum Surfer said...

It's deleted...but..."stupid topic"?! And I want to know what your question was. Or I'm posting your email address again tomorrow! :p

(Kidding, but I do want to know!)

♥♥♥ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
♥♥♥ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

It's best that I write as a anonymous because I can't have anyone or any of my followers know it's me.

I don't know whether to call it rape or not because I didn't bleed. But I was assaulted by a kuwaiti guy I thought I could trust. And I'm quite tiny and couldn't fight back. I feel so hurt and confused it's like I don't know what I am anymore. I blame myself for getting in that situation in the first place but the fact that the men walk around with this disguting mentality is so sad. I wish I was warned before, I was just to trusting and now I have to live with this secret for only allah knows how long.

Anonymous said...

Great post.

As a western (American) female who has been living in the UAE for more than a decade, observing all that goes on around me, I have to say I think you are spot on in your observations and criticisms.

Excuses like "prostitution is the oldest profession" and "it's everywhere" are completely irrelevant - so what? Murder is also as old as man and global - does that make it Ok?

What I found really strange about Dubai was that - unlike every other place I had lived - prostitution was not segregated to a "red-light" district. Prostitutes are everywhere - in malls, coffee shops, and right next door to you as well.

Though I lived in a new building where the rent was quite high, the floor above me was totally occupied by prostitutes. who would avoid the watchmen by sneaking customers up through the car park. Once time a drunk local man got lost on his way up to one of their flats and accidentally wound up on my floor. My husband was working late, so I assumed it was him when I heard the bell and opened. My infant son on my right hip was hidden by the partially opened door, so when the man saw my white face he (naturally) assumed he was in the right place and pushed the door open further in an attempt to enter. When he saw the baby and my horrified expression, he realized he was in the wrong place and turned around and stumbled back to the elevator, where my husband, who came home a few minutes later, found him urinating.

In the evening you could young middle class families out for an evening walk, and just across the street prostitutes strutted their stuff while posh cars with dark tinted windows trolled up and down the streets. One evening I saw throngs of prostitutes rushing down the streets (that's when I realized how many actually lived in that area) on either side of my building towards a giant stretch limo which was waiting to pick them up (for some party I presume).

Every afternoon, when I waited on the steps of my building for my five year old son's school bus, I would inevitably be propositioned by someone driving by. In my case, the men who stopped and called out to me were always Arabs in Khaleeji dress.

It's evident that these men have an extremely warped picture of women in general. Even when walking to and from the supermarket nearby with both of my kids - one in his stroller and the other beside me - men would drive by slowly, roll down their windows, and peer over them with creepy hungry eyes and keep circling back - like sharks zeroing in on their prey - until they would eventually offer me a ride/their phone number or whatever. I don't know what made them think a woman with two children and a stroller with a basket full of groceries would be interested in getting in the car with strange men. Back home no man in his right mind would ever do such a thing. I was puzzled, shocked, confused and humiliated too. I didn't really understand what they were thinking, but after years of being here I have realized that to these men (and it appears to be quite a few men here) all women - aside from their wives and immediate family members - and especially women of other nationalities/ethnicities are "bitches". That's why they will have a "girlfriend" who is a prostitute, because to them, essentially, girlfriend = prostitute, whereas in other cultures having a girlfriend is part of the courting process that leads to marriage.

This prostitution problem here will never go away until these men change their view of women - even prostitutes - and see them as human beings not just objects for a purpose (sex objects or offspring breeders). While I don't think there is any little girl who dreams of growing up to be a prostitute, I think almost every little girl dreams of growing up to find true love and respect. If some women have somehow gotten off the path towards achieving this goal, you can be sure that, in the vast majority of cases, there is a very tragic reason behind it.

Anonymous said...

to Anonymous on July 24, I'm so sorry about your awful experience, but it is absolutely not your fault - you are the innocent victim of a criminal act by a depraved offender.

You say 'it's like I don't know what I am anymore', but you are the same good person you always were and always will be - the criminal who attacked you is an evil monster who has no doubt used other girls' trust to do this before and he will do it again. Your assault was nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Please keep in mind that you will get over this eventually like far too many other women who've been through this. There are good men out there and I'm sure you will learn that not all males are like your attacker.

Confused of Muscat

RajRavi said...

Hi TLS

I used to live in Oman for 18 years and I totally agree with you on your views. I had a lot of Omani friends who viewed girls as playthings who were just there for their pleasure. I think it happens when sex is repressed and even taught as "haram"! I know of car key parties ( you know what I mean). I know of men who had multiple girlfriends ( ! ). On the other side, I know of local women who wanted to experience this also.
I have seen this in societies where mingling of genders are not allowed and women are considered to be less than men. Have you ever been on a flight full of arab men and women in traditional garb and after the flight has levelled off, you can't get to the washroom and within half hour all the people who you saw earlier are now dressed in modern wear, no hijabs or dishdashas? Who do they think they are fooling?

The people there are brought up to believe that they are the best in the world ( nothing wrong in that), and also that they can ill treat everyone else and get away with it. Just ask any housemaid, how she is treated and that is another story by itself.

When something is hidden, the normal human reaction is to find what is being hidden and what is so great about it. This is basic human tendency. And this is what is happening in the Gulf. Mix the superiority complex into this mixture, and things get out of hand. Walk into any nightclub and the things which go on there are beyond description.

The local governments try to paint a lovely picture and pretend that HIV is something which happens only in other countries, not there. I left Oman 10 years ago, but even then I have heard about the endemic there from my friends who worked with the MOH.

Anonymous said...

Firstly, excellent post and well done to you... A few points:
1) Keyword is hypocricy
2) HIV data, as all other (crime +++) statistics are "cooked" in Oman and many other countries in order to keep up the facade,
3) The main, common root of all these problems is religion, whether we like it or not.
4) Segregation of sexes, the concept of virginity up to marriage, the traditional position of the woman in Islam (under the man - no, its not from the culture), male superiority (in their heads only of course) and double standards that does not allow them to (ever) grow up and mature as human beings, plus a few other things....
5) If one reads basic psychology of oppressed societies, ALL these symptoms are there...
6) Omani men like their women like their cars... with the plastic on and to be driven with their green plates for as long as possible to show, at the end of the day, how NEW their car/woman is... And at the end of the day women are (not in all cases - there are some VERY good Omani guys but minority) objects....
7) Write a piece about how men divorce their women, and what happens to the women, if they decide to try and divorce the idiot. How does he deal with her and their/his kids?

THANK GOD, Omani women are smart, capable, waking up, speaking out and in the next years they will overtake Omani boys in most sectors... Only then will such behaviors become redundant... :) It will be fun to watch...

I can write for hours but I will spare you... Surfer you are on the very right track...

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exoticescortdiary.com said...

Thank you so much for writing this. You have a truly humanistic outlook. I am a 'elite' prostitute who serves a lot of Khaleeji patrons outside the Gulf. You are very good with your analysis -- looking at the perspectives of society, patrons and the prostitutes themselves.

I wanted to add that not all Khaleeji patrons of prostitutes are terrible beings (though I agree with most of your analysis).

In my blog I write about different types of men who use the services of prostitutes -- including my Khaleeji patrons (who are mostly lonely international students).

My blog: www.exoticescortdiary.com

I will look forward to reading your site :)

Sahara

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