tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57504228199358555922012-03-03T10:48:22.867+04:00Your daily newspaper that's neither daily, news, nor on any kind of paper.The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.comBlogger531100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-76600275677850397052011-12-07T15:08:00.005+04:002011-12-07T22:41:19.843+04:00

A recent discussion with my blog-buddy Mimi coinciding with her comedy death threat (well, I thought it was funny, that's just me), had me thinking about the state of the global Islamic community (the "Umma").  Not just in the more grotesque stereotypes of some non-Muslims, but in hard fact.  I am a Muslim.  And there are some ugly truths that we need to face up to about ourselves.  Now Mimi is a

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-91011155699808097812011-12-03T01:21:00.000+04:002011-12-03T01:21:12.023+04:00

Our blog-tastic friend Dhofari Gucci has been writing passionately about the subject of the Grand Mufti's religious view of the new Royal Opera House.  Even the esteemed Italian fruitloop and dear friend of mine, Sheikha Balqis, has been diverted from her usual task of stalking Vladimir Putin, in order to comment. I'll keep this brief (yeah, I know I've said this before, but...), but I have two

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-8490489054816995942011-11-30T00:20:00.001+04:002011-11-30T00:42:25.360+04:00

When the public holiday was declared to combine both the commemoration of the forty-first national day, and the new year of the Hijri calendar, it rather neatly linked the two thing about which I wanted to write: an occasion for looking back over past achievements, and an occasion to look forward and make plans. In my previous post, I pointed out a few things - obvious things, or at least to me -

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-80116527392221750862011-11-28T15:18:00.001+04:002011-11-28T15:56:40.163+04:00

At the risk of sounding patronising, or sycophantic, there are a few things I'd like to mention that Oman can feel very smug about.  That's not really why I want to write them down.  I want to write this because, in the last year, Oman has been on a list of countries lumped together as one in the international consciousness, and has got some bad press by association.  But the fact is, Oman as we

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-43469659131773448332011-11-27T13:37:00.000+04:002011-11-27T13:37:28.459+04:00

There are a few sharp intakes of breath I can hear around the place.  "Don't do it" said my friend Mimi.  But don't be alarmed.  Firstly, I've no intention of being rude to or about any individual.  And secondly, I think most people - heads of state included - like to be told how it is, unedited, once in a while. You see, Linoleumites, I've been wondering lately whether it's worth the effort to

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-4321714055931319532011-11-19T16:15:00.001+04:002011-11-19T16:24:40.635+04:00

(WARNING: Contains nuts.  And blatant fabrication.) European Capitals - "The Linoleum Surfer" Reports: The breaking news that oil-rich Angola has come to the aid of destitute Portugal, has given a glimmer of hope to the European undeveloping countries.  Portuguese Prime Minister Pedro Passo Coelho, showing considerable wear to the knee areas of his suit, expressed his country's sincere

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-20935520159243987312011-09-29T17:32:00.001+04:002011-09-29T18:25:35.569+04:00

Well here we are, the "Arab Spring" a few months on, and Oman has a new cause celebre, involving basic principles of  "freedom", international NGOs, gleeful finger pointing from the neighbouring country's press, and a lot of hand-wringing all round.  Even the celebrated "Muscat Confidential" and the scion of Salalah, "Dhofari Gucci", have been on the case.  A newspaper has been prosecuted for

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-17706854817619302772011-09-23T17:10:00.002+04:002011-09-23T17:18:17.495+04:00

The wise and fragrant blogster Susan al Shahri has been talking about customer service in Oman.  A subject about which, I'm sure, most of you have a story or ten.  Anyway, I started writing a response on her page, but got so carried away I thought I'd better regurgitate the whole thing unedited through my own febrile voice box.  Seeing as I wrote a warm, positive life-affirming piece last week

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-65336278797302664942011-09-21T19:13:00.002+04:002011-09-21T19:28:50.161+04:00

Also known as: "The Idiots' Guide to Developing Democracy" Not that I'm calling anyone idiots.  It's just a turn of phrase.  OK, I guess I am calling idiots idiots, but not really directly or overtly because that would be mean.  And idiots never know they're the idiots anyway in my experience so it's kind of redundant anyway.  Right.  Now that's out of the way, back to...democracy. Democracy, or

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-15592687113944057902011-09-16T18:10:00.001+04:002011-09-16T18:53:44.406+04:00

It has been brought to my attention by someone close to me that my posts of late have been  a little strident and angry.  It's true.  Maybe it's all that effort during Ramadhan to remain patient and understanding.  Come Eid, it was time to let it rip and vent my rage at the injustices of the world - at least just a little bit.  That done, maybe it's time to resume normal service and mix up the

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-53234343207913927542011-09-11T23:39:00.004+04:002011-09-12T15:19:20.430+04:00

Two days ago I read an interesting article by Robert Fisk, in "The Independent".  If you didn't see it, or just can't be bothered, then the basic premise is this: when looking at a crime, we generally seek to first establish what has happened, then who has done it, and why.  Fisk states, bluntly as usual, that the latter question has simple not been asked, or at least with insufficient force, and

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-73594732249493520622011-09-08T17:59:00.002+04:002011-09-08T18:18:36.926+04:00

Unless you're new around here, you're probably aware that I have strong feelings about those among my fellow Muslims who choose the path of violence - usually for ambiguous, deluded or simply really, really bad goals.  If you are new around here then let me put it simply: I'm a Muslim, and I think terrorists are retarded assholes.  See?  Italics and underlining.  That's serious.  If you are new

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-4473713966049113212011-09-08T14:16:00.001+04:002011-09-08T18:00:32.430+04:00

Well hello and welcome back to The Lazy Linoleum Surfer.  After having condemned the lazy habits of Ramadhan in the GCC, I then disappeared and did nothing on this blog for a month, apart from mock the opportunistic thieving in London with a Libya-based satire that some people didn't seem to get....anyway...here I am, back.  Sorry for the intermission.  I don't have much excuse apart from some

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-53002990183436519432011-08-09T17:40:00.000+04:002011-08-09T17:40:16.922+04:00

Warning: No Access Beyond This Point Without Protective Humour Tripoli/London: "The Linoleum Surfer" Staff International leaders today condemned the British Government as "illegitimate", and called for urgent change and a cessation of hostilities as violence swept the country.  Addressing the recently-expanded Axis of Evil, or E8 Summit as it is now known, Libyan leader Muammar Al Qadhafi

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-17966582740565321302011-08-01T03:28:00.004+04:002011-08-01T14:01:35.159+04:00

(Warning: Last pre-Ramadhan indulgence in biting satire ahead...) As we embark on our blessed and holy month of Ramadhan, I thought I'd share these top tips for observing the fast in the most khaleeji way possible, and really entering into the spirit of things.  Here we go then, the TLS "magnificent seven" top tips for observing Ramadhan like a real GCC-dweller: 1. You will need a large bank loan

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-22283419632191903522011-07-30T19:21:00.004+04:002011-07-30T22:44:04.347+04:00

(Warning: 78.2% Satire.  Not Suitable for Minors.) Washington, DC - The Linoleum Surfer Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of technology giant Apple Inc., was today reported to have survived a mugging attempt while walking in the popular Pennsylvania Avenue area of the US capital, Washington DC. According to witnesses, a tall African-American male, estimated to be in his late forties and "with

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-13863476422221930252011-07-28T19:14:00.002+04:002011-07-28T19:17:07.183+04:00

Warning: May contain man-made satirical substances unsuitable for those of choleric temperament. A thought: further to my previous post on the Norwegian Christian extremist terror attack (that still sounds kind of cool in a totally wrong, uncomfortable way, doesn't it?), I am wondering if there is another way we should have known it wasn't a Muslim who did it?  See, Muslims have been terrorists

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-23165907018148267632011-07-28T17:01:00.003+04:002011-07-28T17:17:51.178+04:00

Maybe this is an odd subject for someone who usually writes about social or political issues.  But it is a social issue, in a way.  Amy Winehouse died a few days ago.  I'm not sure how but the list of guesses is pretty short.  And for someone who doesn't really go in for mawkish displays of competitive mourning for celebrities I've never met (the Princess Diana grief-fest still nauseates me), I'm

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-76235793730026471812011-07-24T23:18:00.001+04:002011-07-24T23:51:08.019+04:00

Two words that go together pretty well it seems.  We know all about Fox News, the Daily Mail, raving ignorant  Islamophobes, and more calculated, erudite warmongers like "Evil" Bob Spencer.  They're all out to get us by convincing the ever-manipulable mob that the beardies are out to blow up their buildings and eat their children.  So begin the unofficial profilings, the back door constitutional

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-62114708180314808562011-07-15T14:14:00.006+04:002011-07-15T20:52:47.069+04:00

My friend Abu Shakwa and I were sitting the other day in our favourite brunch spot - Bani Daris Patisserie and Auto Parts of Medinat Qaboos.  As we tucked into our devilled rabbit kittens and raw meat smoothies, the subject came up of skin-whitening.  By coincidence, the subject came up entirely separately from two other places in the subsequent 24 hours.  I take that, then, as a personal

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-38574796247614623632011-07-13T20:07:00.001+04:002011-07-13T20:09:18.415+04:00

A quick post on a subject of no genuine importance yet great cultural concern! The English I speak and write is...well, English.  As opposed to American or Indian.  I do use Americanisms frequently, and occasionally switch from one dialect (is that the correct term?) to another.  But in general, my default English is of the English variety. One thing every English-speaker will have noticed is how

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-5657187275196830412011-07-12T11:13:00.005+04:002011-07-12T20:01:07.119+04:00

I like football.  Quite a lot. So like hundreds of millions, perhaps billions of others, I waiting with great interest to see where the 2018 and 2022 FIFA World Cup tournaments would be held.  2018 was, in my opinion, too hard to call, with a lot of noise from England, absolute confidence from Spain and Portugal making you wonder how they could be so sure, and an ambitious bid from Russia.  But

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-46868431233475007292011-06-30T00:08:00.007+04:002011-07-01T14:00:24.334+04:00

N.B.  Will make more sense when you have read the first one! What does it mean to be Ajnabi? The (first?) sequel to “What does it mean to be Omani?”. “Ajnabi” is the Arabic word meaning “foreigner”. There are others, but this is the most generic. Feel free to read “Ingleezi”, “Amreeki”, “Mzungu” or any other specific nationality you recognise, or whichever word causes the most amusement/

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com46tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-15398138490793019342011-06-29T23:21:00.002+04:002011-06-30T15:10:45.900+04:00

"What does it mean to be Omani?", asks The Linoleum Surfer.... This post was inspired by the spectacularly awful advertisement for intensively reared chickens that I heard while listening to the latest low-budget radio station to pollute the airwaves with its unrepentant mediocrity. For “Omani”, feel free to read “Arab” or any other specific nationality you recognise, or whichever word causes

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-66763066652199727432011-06-26T13:15:00.002+04:002011-06-27T00:23:36.381+04:00

My good friend, Abu Tharthara, and I had a fascinating discussion recently about the role of national dress in Omani society.  At his request, I am writing about it - many of these thoughts are his, some are mine. For those who don't know, the "dishdasha" is the ankle-length, closed shirt or gown worn by most men from Oman.  Equivalents are all over the Arabian peninsula, where you might find

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-84611555566021314192011-06-18T00:10:00.003+04:002011-06-18T01:00:53.257+04:00

No kidding.  Someone on the Facebook page requested that I write a piece on migrant workers.  I guess there is plenty to cover there, from desperate construction workers committing suicide, to sexual abuse of domestic staff, child labour, women trafficked into prostitution etc.  The list could go on.  We all know about the Indian man who threw himself off the Burj Khalifa a while back.  My friend

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-27520123199238271412011-06-14T00:46:00.003+04:002011-06-14T01:47:18.728+04:00

I was wondering lately at the neurotic fuss of several European countries (and let's include America in Europe too, as it's kind of true in this context, and might also be amusingly irritating), about the alleged threat of "Islamification".  According to the myriad tabloid articles, political speeches, blogs etc. on the subject, European culture is under attack from an alien force called Islam.  

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-66073397065273707572011-06-10T03:37:00.007+04:002011-06-10T15:27:45.168+04:00

I told you this was serious. For those who have led very sheltered lives, the unmarried men (and less enlightened married ones), no, this has nothing to do with nature conservation.  Well, perhaps it does.  Women, by nature, are born with a certain arrangement of pleasure organs.  Seriously, for anyone not sure of the geography of the female body, you might like to acquaint yourself properly

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-48696716924805335272011-06-09T02:43:00.001+04:002011-06-09T15:30:21.885+04:00

Just a quickie (yes I know I'm supposed to be writing about something serious now, I'm getting around to it, OK?!), but I want to add something to my comment over the last couple of days about the new (not bad) radio station.  The build up is here, here and here.  Anyway, I listened to day two, and... - Still found the morning show on Merge FM a bit dull and ponderous.  Is this as good as it gets

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-12916111326980488312011-06-07T23:21:00.003+04:002011-06-08T15:35:08.647+04:00

I would like to be perfectly clear following comments on the post below, that the word "bribe" is used therein purely as a rhetorical flourish in the vein of satire, and is not intended to insinuate any criminal or immoral activity on the part of any person.  Commercial advertising is a normal, natural, legal and in many ways admirable business practice. Readers will note that after intense

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-7820678978944701442011-06-07T16:33:00.002+04:002011-06-07T16:47:31.977+04:00

As previously promised, I have to give some feedback on Muscat's new English-language radio station - Merge FM.  This is particularly important as they have already bribed premium Omani blogsters Sythe, Nadia and Mimi with money and shiny things.  The aforementioned are therefore not really in a position to comment.  To be fair, Sythe has permitted me to to post some fairly snide comments next to

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-9754822240823113962011-06-06T21:47:00.006+04:002011-06-08T07:24:12.776+04:00

I awoke from my post-kebab meditation to discover that half of the blogs I follow in Oman are now on the payroll of a new commercial radio station named "Merge".  Which is fine.  Except that I'd already started winding myself up to write about it, as part of a general lament on the abject professional, intellectual, artistic, aesthetic and journalistic poverty of the Omani information media.

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-29932377854917519092011-06-06T00:31:00.002+04:002011-06-06T00:35:39.021+04:00

First of all, thank you.  This blog was only set up seventeen days ago at the time of writing, and has fifty "followers" in Google-world, and over four thousand page hits.  Now, I don't know if that's a lot, but it sounds like it to me so thanks for inflating my already unmanageable ego.  A special thank you to all the more established blog-folk who have linked, re-posted or quoted somehow from

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-89002926244561618292011-06-02T19:50:00.003+04:002011-06-02T20:00:18.246+04:00

Let me start this by clarifying one small thing: I am Muslim.  Not a perfect one, probably not even a good one.  But a Believer, a God-botherer, bacon-free, a Barbican-ist.  Ich bin ein headbanger. In that context, I'm as aware as anyone of both the risks and the potential of the media in the battle of ideas.  The internet is full of pornography and BS.  Some of it also has erudite, informed,

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-55294928077243923692011-05-30T17:07:00.007+04:002011-05-30T19:22:09.615+04:00

Before I get into this, I want to ask you to do something: after you've clicked the "follow" link (please!), there is something else.  Share this post on Facebook, Twitter or anywhere else, with your female friends.  That's right, just the ladies.  Especially Arab ladies.  The share buttons are at the bottom of the post, next to the "comments" link (please feel free to do that too).  But really,

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com70tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-33774978416019600952011-05-30T15:47:00.003+04:002011-05-30T15:51:53.286+04:00

I appreciate that the tone of the inaugural The Linoleum Surfer offering has ruffled some feathers (no, no, I didn't mean I'm calling you "birds", it's a turn of phrase alright?)  In a cheap, tabloid effort to attract an attention to an important point, I used sexist terminology and some hoary old lines about men and women, to draw the proletarian masses into the piece in the first place.  This

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-76237446776321535442011-05-29T22:47:00.000+04:002011-05-29T22:47:17.591+04:00

I came across this by chance earlier after being asked to look at another blog from Saudi Arabia.  And it's straight on my "follow" list.  As well as having some of the most interesting subjects and insightful opinions, this is probably the best writing I've seen out of Saudi Arabia, or anywhere, in a long time. Take a read of Sabria S Jawhar.  Respect. TLS

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-79769342951919010212011-05-28T19:42:00.010+04:002011-05-30T10:51:09.389+04:00

I've just lifted this from a forum as it's very relevant to a post here last week.   The justifications for trying to bomb Libya to democracy have had a boost in the last few days, with numerous news sites carrying a poll carried out by a an American research organisation called Ipsos.  The poll was produced on behalf of the respected news giant Reuters.  Although the headline from the

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-90967554175076453152011-05-27T21:18:00.002+04:002011-05-27T23:58:16.312+04:00

Mimi is probably Oman's bravest blogger, talking about social problems and her own experiences.  Mimi's blog today has some thoughts on the forthcoming Shura elections in Oman:  How does a new voter know who to vote for, and even how to register?  There are four months to go, which isn't long when you think that many people will take a holiday in July and then be busy with Ramadhan life

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-85613805148430688192011-05-27T02:45:00.007+04:002011-05-27T23:57:35.199+04:00

For those who have been following this saga closely, the latest news:  the Viscount Bothends has yet to find anything amusing in this blog. For those who haven't, it's like this:  My good friend the Viscount Bothends has been most uncomplimentary about this, your favourite web log.  He has also asked for my suggestions for a gift to mark the seventieth birthday of his dear mother, the Lady Brenda

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-74864607364187891192011-05-27T00:10:00.008+04:002011-05-27T12:01:58.436+04:00

Calm down, it's not what you think.  OK, it's a bit what you think, just not the what you think that you're thinking.  Yeah.  So just bear with me, I'll get back to the title in a minute.  By the way, if you don't like this piece, blame Abu Hamed.  He made me.  Thanks. I heard a quote many years ago from an Iraqi friend, by some prominent Israeli; it was along the lines that Israel need never

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-12563678404349998792011-05-25T00:04:00.001+04:002011-05-25T00:05:09.325+04:00

As the UK announced the departure of its last few military personnel from Iraq this week, a former general has been telling the press how he knew all along that the "evidence" for Iraq's weapons of mass destruction resources was unreliable.  Maj Gen Michael Laurie, who was head of the Defence Intelligence Staff at the time, claims that Tony Blair's PR guru, Alastair Campbell, distorted the famous

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-18481026281733072392011-05-24T14:11:00.000+04:002011-05-24T14:11:27.812+04:00

Posted on a blog I follow. Nothing else to say from me, except that I kind of admire the guy's optimism, although I don't really share it.Headrush - Ed Webb's Dickinson Blog: What happened Yesterday in Sanaa:

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-68719349381110828492011-05-23T23:22:00.004+04:002011-05-24T13:53:53.103+04:00

*** Warning!  May Contain Deliberate Untruths as Satire Preservative. *** Exclusive to the not-daily "The Linoleum Surfer"! Officials of the International Olympic Committee confirmed in a press release today that the London 2012 games will feature "Destructive Envy" as a competitive event for the first time.  This is in recognition of the sport's growing international following, and will be

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-76287264841861503782011-05-23T00:19:00.004+04:002011-05-23T01:39:34.747+04:00

Here's just something that came up in conversation yesterday: My personal bodyguard and origami instructor, Nobby Knuckles, and I were chatting last eve.  All of a sudden, Nobby took leave of the conversation for a moment to "close the AC, it's freezing in here", at which point I was moved to wonder:  Why is it that people set the thermostat on the air conditioning to a temperature far lower than

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-12315110740996336012011-05-22T15:50:00.005+04:002011-05-22T22:47:59.339+04:00

I might have mentioned elsewhere that I'm not a big fan of democracy (ooh!), and maybe I'll come back to that in another piece.  But in the mean time, let's just assume for the purposes of this rant that democracy is great.  Or even just good.  Or just something that "some people" think they want. "Some people", allegedly, include the demonstrators who have excited their government, their

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-27543363816228223382011-05-21T15:33:00.003+04:002011-05-23T00:20:27.115+04:00

Further to yesterday's post, an update:  Of the reported 283 visitors or visits to this site, and the eight followers so far, none have yet contributed a suggestion for Viscount Bothends' mother's seventieth birthday present. In the mean time, his lordship has yet to re-establish any form of communication.  Or even become a follower of this blog.  Which is a bit off, really. However, I have not

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-76475686744615300292011-05-20T00:58:00.007+04:002011-05-23T00:20:58.276+04:00

I've had my ear bent this evening by my old friend the Viscount Bothends, who has condemned my posts on this blog as insufficiently rude, uncharacteristically serious, and therefore too far from the essence of my personality.  In short, dull. He then asked me for advice on what to get his formidable but dear mother, Lady Brenda, for her forthcoming seventieth birthday.  My suggestions so far have

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-41125073618518923452011-05-20T00:13:00.004+04:002011-05-22T14:45:04.370+04:00

(There are probably going to be a few more posts on this subject, but let's get the ball rolling...) As the bombs rain on Libya, the fingers wave at Syria and the tumbleweed roll across the space in the news where Bahrain used to be, I'm wondering: What is it that the "democratic West" want to happen? The answer to that should be pretty simple, perhaps one of two options:  There's Option A: the

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-91121686670948298242011-05-19T03:19:00.007+04:002011-05-22T14:45:31.181+04:00

So here we are:  Blog entry number one.  Technically number four, with three old pieces from another site uploaded.  But this is it, the big moment, the real one I've been thinking about all day:  The inaugural post of the Linoleum Surfer.  So it had better be good, right?  Important.  The Arab Spring.  Libya, Bahrain, Syria, even what's been happening here in Oman.  Or the global economy, clean

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-85014533605342826352008-05-09T17:13:00.001+04:002011-05-18T17:58:54.508+04:00

I wrote this on a bulletin board yesterday, after someone picked up another comment of mine in the same forum that “every war is a defeat”. It grew into something of an essay, so I thought I’d share it with you… Like most people, I think my attitudes to war in general were initially created by my upbringing. My father, grandfather, great grandfather, great great grandfather and great great great

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-3092138985133947332008-02-15T17:12:00.002+04:002011-05-18T17:59:52.502+04:00

I didn't plan to write another note ranting about things that annoy me...I like to think I'm a fairly calm and happy person. But! When I switched on my PC this morning, something kind of pissed me off, and I thought I'd share it. See, I had a nice message on my Facebook page, so I logged in...and then on my home page I saw something that really pressed my buttons: "[someone on my friends list]

The Linoleum Surferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00827051487800854552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750422819935855592.post-80565688699855720722008-01-28T17:07:00.003+04:002011-05-19T03:48:28.196+04:00

First of all, I do like the Kurds. My Kurdish friends are dear and close to my heart. Just...not so much today. Not all Kurds. Just some Kurds. Today I am Kurded out. I will get over it and love everyone again tomorrow. So I would like to apologise in advance to my close and eternally dear Kurdish friends, because today I thought BAD thoughts about your people. And here they are: I had quite a

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